What is Love?

Readers, today I would really like some engagement and healthy dialogue with no judgment. As I am meditating on situations that have happened in my life over the years I am challenged to grow in my way of thinking of what love truly is. As a child love was whatever my family gave me, as a teen love was a feeling, and as I grow older I see love for what it really is an action.

Recently I created a journal that is linked here in the post and it stated that love is patient and love is kind. This was inspired by Corinthians 13:4-8,

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails..."

Powerful isn't it! My question today is are we really loving the way God has told us to love? Or do we only love when it seems beneficial for us? This culture has taught us how to be more self-involved than ever before. We are always thinking about how someone is supposed to love us and feel about us but to be honest, we are not giving that same love we are expecting.

We see the way we love with rose-colored glasses making excuses for our actions and demeanor towards others while wanting them to treat us in a way we don't treat ourselves. I was asked a question by a wise wise leader and she said, "Baby do you love yourself every day?" My answer was something like Not all the time but for the most part. She proceeded by asking, "So why get mad when other people don't love you all the time?"

This hit me like a ton of bricks that I set up stipulations on people's love that I was not even ready to do myself. Was I always being patient with myself or always kind? Why did I expect that from others? Yes, this is God's perfect love and I believe when cultivated we are able to give this kind of love more often than not. Yet we must really study what this is saying!

The love of God is so powerful and that is the only love we should be looking up to not the love of the world. The world tells us an eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth. Treat them like they have been treating you. Drop them they are dead weight. You are stupid for ever thinking they are going to change or do something with themselves. Don't get me wrong with love you need to set boundaries and speak the truth. Yet the scripture above tells us how to set those boundaries and speak the truth.

Loving People When they Hurt You

If someone is hurting you it doesn't mean be around them and act like it doesn't hurt. Sometimes in love, we must give space and this goes hand in hand with being patient, and not thinking they should get it. This was a lesson I had to learn because it caused me to dishonor those people and keep a record of wrongs. What I found is that I could still hope and through prayer ask God to help them and meet whatever needs that they had even when they were not in my life. This also meant if they were someone in my life I would address them and be vulnerable about the hurt that I was feeling in order to reconcile when possible.

Sometimes it was easier to talk about the situation to other people and not that person but that's not really love. Love rejoices in truth and the truth is you have a problem with a person in your life and it's better to address it in love when possible this helps with not keeping a record of wrongdoing. It's easier to let go of the feeling of being wronged when you address the situation and tell them how you feel.

Another way to do that is to remember a time someone forgave you when you did wrong even when you didn't deserve it. For those who think they never did wrong in their life or have never seen forgiveness. Think about God's love for you and though you have hiddenly done things you know aren't right He has constantly loved you and forgiven you so you can move forward with no shame and guilt about your past.

Love is not proud, easily angered, or self-seeking. This speaks for itself when you think you are always doing right that's pride. Nobody can say anything to you that is pride. When you stick to something even though you know that changing is beneficial and you make up every excuse why you shouldn't change, that's Pride. We know pride comes before destruction (Proverbs 16:8).

Pride will lead you to anger, Anger says I have the right to be mad and to stay outraged while the truth says I will address and be the change I want to see. There are a lot of things we can be angry about but use that thing to push you to purpose to be the one who changes the law, fights for change, and injustice, helps people learn to treat others correctly, or whatever it is that comes and makes you angry.

Self-seeking, well this has definitely been me. Thinking about my own personal gain or profit from relationships and other situations is not love. You know that as you give to others and build with others in mind God provides for your needs (Proverbs 19:17). This is not only true because it's in the word but I've seen it in real life. This is not to say don't value who you are but you should be thinking about how your gift talents and ideas can help make the world a better place and profit will come.

The things listed above are some examples of love put into action and those things that keep us from loving. I wanted to talk about these things because I had a situation in my life where I wanted to love but didn't know quite how to. In a couple of very important relationships in my life, I had found it hard to love. I say that because I was hurt by the actions taken in the relationship. I had thought to myself that I was doing the best I can to love and appreciate these relationships so why would they do this to me.

The sentence above revealed to me that I was thinking only about myself, that I was proud and felt entitled. I felt at that moment well these relationships can be done and over in my life but this was not really my true desire. I needed time (patience) and needed to really hear the truth behind the things that were said and the feeling that I was feeling at the time. I had realized that these people were hurt and that really what they were doing was hurting the person closest to them.

Others outside of myself and I'm sure at times myself had hurt them and they were acting out of that place of heart and hopelessness. This was something I realized that many people were going through at this time. So I decided to do something different and it felt good for me to love them through this tough time. I would tell them that what they did hurt me but I would choose to let go of the hurt and let the love of God persevere in me. Choosing not to allow my love for them to fail because God's love for me never failed ( not boasting this is God's love through me).

I let them know I would provide space in our relationship for them to heal and grow but that I love them and that would be forever. As I found myself doing this I felt lighter, I felt free and I had truly forgiven right then and there. Those thoughts of what they did that made me feel angry, hurt, and bitter were completely overtaken by the action of love and brought hope and joy. Not just for me but hope that they would also overcome their hurts and pain.

Pondering on it I felt like if I ever told someone this, they would think I was stupid. This is foolish and that is not really love. You don't love yourself and you just making excuses for them. Yet by faith, I am sure I took the right action and that this love God has given us. That God's love will be something that helps those who hurt me and in turn helps me. So I ask today what is love? Is love only being kind to those who treat us right? Is love cutting people off because they no longer serve you? Is love being patient with those who hurt you? Is loving giving a second chance? Is love always hoping for the best for someone even when they are at their worse? Comment your answer below or write a message and share it with us. And even if you don't want to share, answer this question for yourself today wherever you are in your relationships, are you truly showing love?

Peace & Favor