Make Room to Receive

This week I have had a challenging time as many memories of the past have come up. As these memories rose up I heard old voices of not being enough. Voices stating how can you possibly achieve this, your not good at this, and things like see you didn't change. The voices became so loud that feelings of hope and despair became my reality and over time I just wanted to stop. I looked at my life and wondered why I had been in this place for so long and why things haven't changed.

It seemed I was changing but the situations and circumstances in my life weren't adding up. I was not the only one feeling this feeling I had encountered people closest to me feeling the same way. We all felt like if we just had more money, less debt, more time, another job, and maybe even healthier relationships that these feelings of inadequacy will go away. It was like if any of these circumstances in my life would change then everything would be great.

Then I was reminded by the Holy Spirit that it is my mindset and my spirit that needs to be changed first before receiving on the outside. I would need to let go of limiting and old mindsets such as I can't do it or I am not enough and then I will be able to receive the abundance in my life that God has for me.

Nor do they put new wine into old wineskins, or else the wineskins break, the wine is spilled, and the wineskins are ruined. But they put new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved.” - Matthew 9:17

This is the scripture that came to mind as I pondered on the thought of letting go of limiting beliefs. It was like I was waiting for God to do all these new things in my life on the outside but what was new about me on the inside? Was I asking him to put new wine into old wineskins? Did I want him to fill my life with the nice and new shiny things that my old mindset would not be able to steward well?

See I had multiple new cars, I have job after job and before I was married I had new partner after new partner, and see none of those things fulfilled the longing I had. Everything will burst and I would be left with nothing. I'd lose the job eventually get sick of that relationship and most likely get rid of the car or not be able to afford it anymore. See the things were easy to come by but because my mindset was never new I wasn't able to preserve any of it.

It's something about doing it in God's way and not our own that leads to peace and fulfillment. Begging God for things or trying to change things in our own strength just so that we can feel better about ourselves oftentimes leads us into situations where we combust and become worse off. So I encourage us to put off those old mindsets, heal old wounds, and ask God to help us get a new heart so that when he decides to give us more responsibility or bring newness in our life we are able to receive with a new heart and mind.